My blog is pink today. I just felt like a change. It may not be pink tomorrow. We'll see.
My astrologer says I have started a new cycle. I love her. For my girlfriends and I, she is our crone: the voice of experience, a bit of big picture wisdom when our worlds get tight and small.
I just started this new cycle last year, apparently. It's about emotions and family and destiny. (No kidding!) And it's written right there in my star chart, as well as in my everyday life. Weird, but cool.
In this new cycle, I am entering the deeper levels of living, and I'm supposed to just be with my feelings, soak up all the juiciness of them, even the horrible stuff. And this is all going to be material... for something... later... Of course I like that idea. Wouldn't we all? I really want to believe it.
Also of note, the corner of my chart that has to do with babies, childrearing, parenting could not be more action-packed and full of planetary bodies. Whereas my career corner... *crickets*... ... ...
My chart shows that I will have two children. I don't know how I feel about that. I want to tell her that I already have two children. But I'm taking hope where I can get it. She says new baby in the next 12 to 18 months. I should mention she accurately predicted the time of my marriage, pregnancy, and move well before I even met Brian. Hm.
She said lots of other things too but what's sticking is the idea that I can't control anything or plan anything in my life right now. (Capricorn hates this!) I just have to feel it. Be present in it. Allow change. Be guided by destiny. Trust. Pretty good description of the black hole of grieving, in a certain way I guess.
So, how do things feel today? Today I feel like pink. I miss my baby girl. I would have had a two-month old tiny pink person with me right now. That would have been... amazing.
Also: it's gloomy here today. In real life and in blogland too. So, here's a little bit of pink. If I were still on Facebook I would gift each of you a little rose quartz. Love to everybody out there.
* * * * *
For more astrological musings, visit Gal at Growing Inside....
6 comments:
Sending some pink right back at you, both the subtle rosy pink and some fuschia. I wish it were in the form of a two-month old, pink Angel Mae in a cute pink onesie. I'm a Capricorn, so I completely relate to the difficulty of relinquishing control. It's one of many lessons I'm trying to learn right about now;) xo
Oooh, I like the new pink look. I wish I had an astrologer to talk to, it all sounds really interesting. Perhaps everything in life is material for something later? I like that idea too, it's a nice thought.
I hope that she is right and the crowded corner of your chart keeps on whizzing away. I'm a Gemini (sigh, I would be wouldn't I?) but I also seem to have quite a few problems giving up control.
I wish that you a lil two month old pink Angel Mae with you. I'm sure you and your big girl and your baby girl would be having lots of fun together. xo
And Brian too. Sorry for missing him out. I was confused by the pink and was only thinking of girls. xo
I love the pink.
I've never really thought about astrology beyond the daily horroscope'you'll meet a helpful stranger' type. It sounds fascinating.
I was re-reading some posts on Glow the other day and I saw your comment on the birth warrior post. It really stuck me and I've been thinking you and Lilly ever since. My best friend has been a mother to her husbands 2 children for the past 13 years. I'm trying to think of a way to write this that doesn't sound unbearably clumsy... yep, I can't. I'm just so glad that you have each other.
Thinking of Angel Mae xx
Thinking of Angel Mae and you - and likely will when I see pink the rest of today. (((Hugs)))
i've really been wanting to talk to a pychic/astrologer/palm reader/whathaveyou since Leila died. matt's mom was going to take me but we never got around to it. i'm totally fascinated with what i might find out. answers maybe? some insight or hope?
pink is my favorite color! i was so excited when i found out Leila was a girl, i went back through my baby registry and switched everything from green to pink! i still have tons of tiny little pink clothes for her. i hate that i don't have my little pink flower with me. i wish both our little pink girls were here....
sending love,
christy
Post a Comment