what would you cook for a remembrance meal?

What would you cook for a remembrance meal for your baby's special day?

You see, we're going to do a little family activity with Lilly, either tomorrow or Friday, before she goes to her mom's for the weekend. Something to include her in our remembrance of Angel Mae.

This is a tough needle to thread. We want to include her, as this is a family loss and a family remembrance. And I want her to know the door is open to talk to us about Angel Mae. But we don't want to burden her, or obligate her to talk about it if she's not up to it, or to let her feel too much my heavy, heavy sadness. Which is a lot for a ten-year-old to take. Especially this ten-year old.

So we're going to do one little thing with her. Something with limits, boundaries. Then slide her back into her kid routine. We were going to take a family hike. But wouldn't you know it? Pouring miserable rain for the next two days, then snow. So, it looks like we'll be staying in.

We'll light some candles and do a craft project and eat some chocolate. And I should cook something nice for us. But what? Oddly, I don't want to cook meat for this meal. Maybe it just feels so Lenten to me. Also, I once read about a babylost mama who became vegetarian after her loss, if only so not to have to think about animal death so many times a day. (Sorry, I can't remember who it was, or I would link!) I'm not there exactly, but for this meal, yeah, I kind of feel that way.

I also don't want to cook a meal that is already a family favorite, like lasagne. That is for other, happier occasions. I don't want to attach tough, mixed associations to something that already gives us pleasure.

It's strange that this is hanging me up. I'm a pretty creative cook. I think it's the strange nature of this occasion - a grief and a celebration at once, calling for both austerity and loveliness. It suddenly feels like a big trick to pull off. I'm not sure how to balance all that on the plate.

Any suggestions, friends?